Spoof
by Paicon RMF
Summary: Ah, the wonderful world of spoofology. Basically, I rewrote part of the game. In this part, it's the beginning of FFIV, but other parts are in the middle of other FF games.


Spoof  
Part I: And So It Began  
By Paigey-Wan  
  
AN: Just a few random ramblings from my bumbling brain.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy, yo. If I did, yo, I wouldn't be doing my disclaimer, yo, as if I was Todd, yo.  
  
  
  
And so it began on an airship, an airship, which technically has no name so we'll call it Bob, Bob the Airship. And on Bob the Airship were a bunch of people. The crewmen, who all had really squeaky voices, were talking about their latest orders.  
  
"So," said Squeak I. "Where were we headed again?"  
  
"Mysidia..." said Squeak VI1/2, who was, by far, the smartest crewman.  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"So... What were we supposed to do?" said Squeak VII.  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"We're supposed to steal the Crystal, duh! How come you guys can never remember anything?!"  
  
"Hi, Cecil!" said all the Squeaks in unison.  
  
Enter Cecil, the Dark Knight (yes, it has to be capitalized), who had a brief stint as Harry the Dark Knight. He changed his name back to Cecil, though, after he got tired of all the Boy Who Lived' jokes his best friend Kain kept making. In reality, Kain just hadn't wanted to change his name to Ron.  
  
"But sir," said Squeak CCLXXXVIII. "Isn't that a little mean?"  
  
Cecil thought about it. It was a little mean.  
  
"Yeah, couldn't we just ask them for it?" chimed in Squeak Insert Large Number Written In Roman Numerals Here.  
  
"No," said Cecil. "Our orders say steal, so we'll steal. And maybe burn something... Fire... Heh heh..."  
  
"Um... Yeah..." said Squeak CIII.  
  
"That wasn't in the script..." Squeak VII whispered to Squeak CI.  
  
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After an indefinite amount of time, which seems like it might have been a long time, Bob the Airship and the rest of the Red Wings arrived in Mysidia.  
  
"Bwahahahahaha! Burn!"  
  
The Squeaks looked at each other.  
  
"Um... Sir? We can't cast Fire," said Squeak I.  
  
"...Oh." Cecil sighed. "Well, on with the Crystal napping... I guess..."  
  
Cecil and the Squeaks went forward, not met with enough adversity to make a note of, and continued into the Crystal Room.  
  
Two Black Mages moved forward to challenge them. Squeaks III and IV went forward and attacked them.  
  
"Capture them!" screeched Cecil as the two Black Mages blinked out of existence.  
  
Squeaks III and IV blinked their eyes and looked at each other. They glance up at Squeak VI, who pulled out his cell phone and dialed up the Black Magic Lab in Baron Castle. Cecil, who was apparently abysmally oblivious, did not notice a single thing.  
  
Next, the White Mage, who must have been insane or something, ran forward and attacked. She was dusted as well, and Squeak VI began to place a call to the White Magic Lab.  
  
"Give us the crystal," said Cecil.  
  
"Um... No?" said the hither unto unnamed Mysidian Elder, who I have decided to name Bob II.  
  
"Oh... well, okay," said Cecil, turning to leave.  
  
Bob II doubled over laughing, and the Squeak's blinked at Cecil.  
  
  
"But... Sir? Aren't we supposed to return... WITH the Crystal?' asked Squeak I.  
  
Cecil stopped walking and started to think, because he could only do one thing at a time, and thinking was already very hard for him.  
  
  
"Well," Cecil said. "The King DID say 'Bring me the Mysidian Crystal... Thingy'..."  
  
Bob II was still laughing. He was leaning against the wall, doubled over, practically dieing laughing.  
  
Cecil turned around again and walked up to the Crystal's altar. He picked up the Crystal, which must have been sitting under a microscope or something because it looked huge, but fit in Cecil's hand in suck a way that nobody could see it. Cecil and the Squeaks left.  
  
Bob II collapsed to his knees laughing and muttering, "Jeez, he is SUCH and IDIOT!!"  
  
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An undefined amount of time later, which could not have been very long because Mysidia really is not that big, Cecil and the Squeak's boarded Bob the Airship.  
  
There was silence. Then, "EEK!!! Monsters!" said Squeak XIII, the wimpiest Squeak.  
  
Cecil fended off the first bunch of monsters with an item we don't see again for awhile. This particular item just happens to be the Inferno spell item, which is of course, a fire elemental.  
  
"Fire!" exclaimed Cecil, breaking into giggles.  
  
Most of the Squeaks exchanged frightened looks, and Squeak XIII fainted.  
  
Cecil ran over to him, stilling his giggles. "Are you okay, Squeak XIII?" Cecil said.  
  
Squeak XIII didn't answer because, of course, he was unconscious.  
  
"Oh no! More monsters!" Squeak MM yelped.  
  
Cecil turned to the monster. It was a Zuu. Cecil the Dark Knight used yet another magical spell item that won't be seen again for a while, this one a Lit Storm.  
  
"Aw, no fire..." said Cecil.  
  
Squeal XIV peaked out of the cabin and said, "What's up with that?" 


End file.
